TPN‘s Trifling Morons of the Week
Nickella Reid and Joseph Miller I was all set to put the president here, but then I heard about these two imbeciles and, well, even not firing Timothy Geithner doesn’t rate on this scale. Nickella and Joseph pleaded guilty Monday to—and I can barely get this out—cremating their 2-year-old child on a barbecue grill. Yes, … Read more
‘Magic Negro’ Saves White Girl From Despair
By Bill Matthews The Magic Negro, surrendering to police (WILMINGTON, N.C.) A Magic Negro—a creature long thought to exist only in the minds of lazy Hollywood writers—was discovered Monday morning after one was caught doing what movies have long portrayed them doing: saving a white girl from herself. Wee Buttin, a white-bearded, balding man of … Read more
March 23: This Day in African-American History
Patrick Henry 1775: Patrick Henry declares “Give me liberty or give me death,” a resounding speech that inspires a war that will bring freedom for everyone in America–except for, well, you know. Lining up for the Internment Camps 1942: The U.S. begins moving Japanese-Americans into internment centers, the birth of the urban renewal it will … Read more
TPN‘s Trifling Couple of the Week
Timothy Geithner and Christopher Dodd I was all set to paste AIG’s logo all over this column until HOLD UP PODNA…You mean to tell me that Timothy Geithner and Chris Dodd conspired to include a loophole in the stimulus bill that let these AIG morons keep their $165 million in bonuses? That’s not trifling. It’s … Read more
Undercover Democrat Michael Steele Sabotages GOP
By Bill Matthews Michael Steele couldn’t pull off his subterfuge with a straight face. (WASHINGTON D.C.) The Peoples News has learned that a decades-old plot by Democrats to infiltrate the highest levels of the Republican Party–and then sabotage it–succeeded when Michael Steele was elected chairman of the GOP. But the carefully designed plan was undone … Read more
March 16: This Day in African-American History
Samoset, about to say the wrong thing 1621: Samoset, a Mohegan Indian, arrives at the Plymouth Colony with a message to the Pilgrims that he thinks says “Welcome, my name is Samoset.” But tragically, his prankster friend, Leroy, had actually taught him to say “Please tell your countrymen back home to come steal our land … Read more
TPN‘s Trifling Person of the Week
Bernard Madoff He ruined the lives of thousands of people, scamming the very rich and the very middle class (most of them my people, from my mother’s side), to the tune of $64.8 billion. He pleaded guilty this week and faces 150 years in a jail. I’m hoping his trifling ass spends most of that … Read more
