Nation of Islam Bars Members From Contracting Swine Flu
Bill Matthews Just say no to swine, says NOI. (CHICAGO) Saying no pig shall pass their lips—or enter their bloodstream—Nation of Islam leaders today told members they should not contract the swine flu. The Nation forbids members to eat pork because it considers the pig to be an ‘unclean’ animal. It holds the same feeling … Read more
TPN‘s Trifling ‘American Dream’ Killer of the Week
Torture I’m not really even sure who to blame for this. Bush, Cheney, the CIA, Osama bin Laden, World War II-era Japanese interrogators, my own naivete? I was born into Reagan’s sunny America, so grew up thinking my country didn’t do things like waterboarding, tearing off fingernails, sleep deprivation, siccing dogs on prisoners. I even … Read more
Americans Wonder Why Black Pirates Aren’t Fun
By Bill Matthews Lacking peg legs, gold earrings and even parrots, African pirates are just boring. (OFF THE SHORE OF SOMALIA) For more than a century, white pirates who pillaged and murdered on the high seas were depicted as devil-may-care scoundrels who would save a maiden’s virtue or even give up their share of the … Read more
TPN‘s Trifling Comedian of the Week
Jamie Foxx Oh Jamie. TPN understands what it’s like to cross the line in the name of funny. And telling your radio audience that Miley Cyrus needs to make a sex tape, while your guests were imploring her to use heroin “like Britney Spears,” well, sure, we can imagine you were getting back to your … Read more
TPN‘s Trifling Religious Leader of the Week
Pope Benedict XVI Sigh. I really thought we were past this issue, but when the Pope said condom usage worsens the spread of AIDS, he sounded like he’d time-traveled straight from 1984 with no knowledge of medical revelations of the intervening years. How can else can you explain such ignorance? Does he know, I wonder, … Read more
