TPN‘s Trifling Hoofers of the Week

Black People Who Dance OK, black people, listen up. I have had enough of all these nonblack people posting videos on youtube, dancing in the most challenged way possible, but still getting shout outs on The Today Show. What about us? We get married. We get down. Stop being trifling and put the two together. … Read more

Mass. Cops Arrest Obama at the White House

By Bill Matthews Obama mulls what type of beer cops drink (WASHINGTON D.C.) Two Cambridge, Mass. police officers traveled to Washington D.C. and arrested Barack Obama inside his home, after an elderly neighbor called to say someone was breaking inside the White House. Obama, who had just returned from a long diplomatic trip, became angry … Read more

TPN’s Trifling Person of the Week

Chris Brown Chris, I don’t care how many insincere, ‘hoping to save your career’ apologies you put out. You’re trifling and honestly, you’re better at choking Rihanna than making me choke up with emotion. You should have kept your apologizing between you and the woman you left bloodied and bruised back in February. The rest … Read more

White Woman Goes Black, But Then Goes Back

By Bill Matthews Murphy and and her new boyfriend went to his company’s outing on Friday. (LOS ANGELES) Staci Murphy never set out to be a trailblazer. But last week, she did something that had never been done before. Murphy, a white woman who ended a yearlong romance with a black man in April, began … Read more

Jesse and Al Ecstatic To Be in the Limelight Again

By Bill Matthews Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have always traveled wherever Michael went (LOS ANGELES) They’ve barely been seen since Barack Obama won the White House, but since Michael Jackson’s death, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have barely left TV screens. “The American public expects us to be at the forefront of every single … Read more

TPN‘s Trifling Romeo of the Week

Mark Sanford Hey Gov, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Jim McGreevey and Bill Clinton welcome you to the club.  Mark, you lovestruck puppy you, you’re the gift that keeps on giving. You cheated on your wife, and now you’re oversharing with the media. Guess it feels good to confess again and again that you have found … Read more

Debbie Rowe Prepares for Motherhood By Buying a Llamaa

By Bill Matthews Rowe (inset) hasn’t said whether she will seek custody of her two children with Jackson (LOS ANGELES) The mother of Michael Jackson’s two oldest children hoped to prove she can give them the life they’re accustomed to by buying a llama, two lion cubs and an anaconda. “Prince Michael and Paris are … Read more

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