Jermaine Jackson’s Hair Comes to Life
By Bill Matthews To no one’s surprise, Jackson’s hairdo turned out to be an alien symbiote living on his head (ENCINO, CA) After Sunday night’s premiere of The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty, Jermaine Jackson’s hair suddenly hopped off the singer’s head and ran out of his Encino mansion. Jackson’s hair, which for years has prompted … Read more
Black and Asian Hoes Angry Tiger Didn’t Cheat With Them
By Bill Matthews All those women, but not a single one was of color. (WINDERMERE, FLA) What’s wrong with us, Asian and African-American hoes around the world are asking. As more and more skanky women step forward to say they slept with Tiger Woods, it’s become clear that the so-called ‘Cablinasian’ golfer—whose ethnicity is part … Read more
Tiger Woods Got Off Easy, Say Other Whipped Husbands
By Bill Matthews Elin is much stronger than she looks, says her husband (WINDEMERE, FLA) Days after Tiger Woods’ wife smashed his back window with a golf club, Lionel Ritchie can’t help but laugh. “His wife smacked him around a bit, and used a 3 wood on his car? That ain’t nothin,” Ritchie told The … Read more
